In the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget those things that truly matter.
It’s not intentional; it just happens because there is only so much a person can do, right?
One of the most important aspects of anybody’s life has to be their partner…
And sometimes, we get so comfortable in relationships that we forget that our partner truly matters.
We don’t even realize that we are doing this, but we actually are.
We may feel like things are going normally because your partner may actually be picking up your slack and attempting to be understanding.
But how long can they do this for?
The answer is loud and clear in your mind.
After they reach their limits, they may express their dissatisfaction or end up resenting you.
Either way, your relationship may be headed for the rocks.
If you are in a relationship and sometimes that tiny voice inside tells you that you are not doing enough, this article is for you.
We will explore the various signs you are taking your husband for granted.
While we may focus on wives, husbands will also find this article quite instructive.
Come along!
10 Signs You’re Taking Your Husband For Granted
Throughout this article, I will be asking you to honestly reflect on and review your actions over the years.
You will be the judge of your actions, so prepare to be unbiased.
1. You don’t appreciate him
Appreciation is such a great aspect of life and relationships that some people ignore.
In Yorubaland, we have several proverbs about appreciation.
But the one that stands out for me is this one…
“If a child appreciates the favors of yesterday, he will receive more.”
This simply shows that appreciation is not only the right thing to do but also beneficial because it makes people more willing to do things for you.
A simple “thank you for all you do” text can light up your husband’s world and keep him in a good mood throughout the day.
Realizing that your efforts don’t go unnoticed in the house is delightful.
It is a sign that you don’t take him for granted.
However, if you are the type of wife who thinks she is entitled to everything her husband does and hence doesn’t need to appreciate him, you are definitely taking him for granted.
Introspect carefully.
When was the last time you appreciated your husband?
When was the last time you expressed heartfelt gratitude to your husband for the things he does in the house?
Appreciation is important, whether it is taking the trash out, cooking dinner, or simply being there for you.
He may be carrying out his duties, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t entitled to a “thank you.”
I remember when I was staying in the university hostel.
We had cleaners who took care of the surroundings, and while most students passed them like they were invisible, I made it a point of duty to greet them and appreciate them for their work.
You just need to see how their faces lit up with joy at the realization that someone saw what they were doing and respected them for it.
Think of your relationship as a garden of flowers and appreciation as water.
If you don’t water your garden, the flowers will wither.
Similarly, if you don’t appreciate your husband or partner, your marriage will experience a drought of love.
2. You ignore his needs
One mistake wives sometimes make is assuming their husbands don’t have needs.
I was talking to a lady, and she said, “My boyfriend is meant to take care of me and provide for me.”
She was silent When I asked what she was supposed to do for her boyfriend.
She hadn’t given much thought to it.
Look, it is easy to assume that your husband is so strong and doesn’t need anything because that’s how most men want to be perceived.
The actual truth is your husband is not as strong as he projects.
It’s just an image that he projects.
A sign that you are taking your husband for granted is that you ignore his needs.
Ask yourself these questions and answer truthfully.
Have I ever asked my husband if he needs anything?
Do I ignore his physical and emotional needs even when he communicates them?
If the answer to the question is “yes,” then it’s a sign that you have taken your husband for granted.
A quick clarification for those who may be thinking needs are only synonymous with sexual satisfaction for men: men need more than sex.
They need to connect with their wives on a deeper level than sex.
Sometimes, they may need to share ideas they find exciting with you.
At other times, they just need someone to talk to.
Refusing your husband these basic needs frequently shows that you take him for granted.
3. You no longer prioritize spending quality time with him
I get it; life is busy.
The world is so fast-paced, and you feel the intense need to keep up.
Well, you shouldn’t do this to the detriment of your relationship with your husband.
The fact that you are married shouldn’t stop you from spending quality time with your husband.
Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a simple movie date, it’s important to get away from the noise and focus on the things that matter.
I know you want to be a career woman and climb the corporate ladder.
All that’s great, but you shouldn’t let it consume you so much that you take your husband for granted.
You shouldn’t be so busy all the time that you don’t have space on your schedule for bonding time with your husband.
When you care about someone, you can never be too busy for them.
Take time out to show him that you care.
4. You assume that he knows how you feel
This is another way many wives take their husbands for granted.
It is nice to get comfortable with your partner.
But if your kind of “comfortable” involves being unexpressive because you assume that your partner knows how you feel, it is a very harmful kind of “comfortable.”
If you realize that it’s been a very long time since you have expressed your love and appreciation for your husband verbally, it is a sign that you are beginning to take him for granted.
You may think he knows how you feel already.
In fact, you may be right about him knowing how you feel already.
However, you still need to express your feelings for him.
I am very sure that no matter how stoic your husband may be, he loves being told, “I love you,” just like the rest of us.
Dear woman, life is too short for you to keep your feelings bottled up.
Express them!
5. You disrespect him
This is the height of it for me.
In primary school, we used to have a very friendly class teacher.
She hardly punished or disciplined anyone; when she did, it was usually obvious that the person deserved it.
I was her favorite, so she never scolded me until one day when I took her for granted.
I disrespected her, and she punished me lightly.
I cried so much that she had to beg me to stop crying.
Now, the fact is that in a relationship, both partners deserve respect.
When the respect in the relationship begins to appear one-sided, it is a sign that there is more trouble coming.
Think about it: have you been belittling his opinions, mocking his efforts, or openly criticizing him in front of others?
You haven’t respected him if you have been doing any or all of these.
You are obviously beginning to take him for granted.
Next time you are about to do something disrespectful to him, think about how you’d feel if you were at the receiving end and do the right thing.
6. You have forgotten his preferences
People have things they prefer.
For instance, I love peppery food with just a little salt.
My ex-girlfriend liked salty food.
We had to institute a system that allowed us to eat together without one person feeling dissatisfied.
So, the food would be cooked with a little salt, and later, she could add more to her portion.
Her favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla; mine is chocolate.
Imagine how annoying it would have been if she kept buying vanilla ice cream when she knew I love chocolate.
That’s how forgetting your husband’s preferences is synonymous with taking him for granted.
It means you don’t care to know the little details about him that make him unique.
Your husband’s preferences are important, no matter how petty they may seem.
Never forget them.
7. You compare him to others
Comparing your husband to other men is a sign that you are beginning to take him for granted.
It is like comparing oranges and tangerines…
It is an unnecessary endeavor.
If you chose to marry your husband among all the other men who may have shown interest in you, you must have seen something special in him: something that made him feel like the one suited for you.
Now that you have been married to him for years, you are beginning to allow “see finish” to enter your relationship.
“See finish” is Nigerian slang for overfamiliarity.
Falling into the habit of comparing him with others will continue to make you feel dissatisfied.
Discontentment in your marriage will bring about a myriad of other issues.
Always remember what makes him stand out and celebrate it.
8. You forget his birthdays
I am someone who doesn’t remember dates easily.
Sometimes, it’s the wishes of people that remind me of my birthday.
Yet, I still love being celebrated on my birthday.
If you truly love your partner, you won’t forget their special days.
Forgetting your husband’s special days can be a sign that you take him for granted.
It shows that you are not as invested in the relationship as you used to be.
You may be like, “Ooh, come off it! It’s just a date!”
But it’s not just a date you forgot.
It was a date that holds special importance for your husband and for you, for that matter.
If you are beginning to forget your husband’s birthday, among other special days, you need to wake up!
Be more intentional about your husband.
Mark those special days on your calendar and celebrate them the way you want yours to be celebrated.
9. You make important decisions on your own
I know how much females in this generation prize independence.
They want to be independent and seem in control.
Well, that’s not a bad idea when you are single, but don’t bring that independent streak into marriage.
In marriage, the important decisions are made together.
If you make important decisions on your own and just expect your husband to fall in line with your decisions, you are taking him for granted.
You are indirectly telling him that his opinions are irrelevant to you.
Don’t do this anymore.
In fact, when he tells you to do whatever you decide, inform him that his input is valued and needed in making decisions for the family.
10. You are starting to love the sound of your own voice
Do you talk over your husband, giving him no chance to say anything?
Is listening a chore for you?
Do you love to lecture instead of having a conversation with your husband?
If you do all of these, it is evident that you love the sound of your own voice.
You love giving monologues without listening.
You ask questions without expecting or allowing an answer.
When you do all of these, it is a sign you’re taking your husband for granted.
Even if your husband is quiet, he still deserves a chance to speak.
Here’s what you should do the next time you talk to your husband: give him a chance to speak.
Ask him open-ended questions.
Don’t be so eager to respond.
Rather, listen to understand him.
Make this a habit, and he’s bound to notice and appreciate the change in you.
If you have ticked more than a few boxes off this list, it is apparent that you are taking your husband for granted.
A change is required before it is too late.
Really, if your husband has to start reacting to your behavior before you know what you are doing is wrong, it may be too late to do anything.
This is why this article calls upon you to honestly review your actions towards your husband and what they say about your feelings for him.
There are also tips on how to deal with the individual signs.
Applying them to your relationship may be your best decision this year.
You can reignite the spark in your relationship.
All you need to do is to improve how you treat your husband.
