When you want to build up romantic tension or anticipation in your relationship, dirty texting can be an incredibly exciting way to spice up intimacy with your partner.
It allows you both to explore a playful side of your relationship and add some thrill, especially when you’re apart.
However, some people find it awkward to dirty text their partner.
While I understand individual differences, dirty texting a guy is not rocket science.
The key to successful, enjoyable dirty texting is that both people feel comfortable and enthusiastic about it!
Consent and mutual respect are essential here—dirty texting should always be something both you and your partner enjoy and feel safe exploring together.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to dirty texting, with practical tips to keep things intriguing, enjoyable, and, above all, respectful.
10 Step-by-Step Guide To Dirty Texting a Guy
1. Gauge His Comfort Level
Before sending dirty texts to your man, start by gauging his comfort level.
You can go ahead if you notice he’s comfortable enough with you.
You shouldn’t go ahead with this until you’ve fully ascertained that he’s comfortable to avoid embarrassment.
You can start with flirty texts to see how he responds.
A playful compliment or a suggestive hint can be enough to test the waters.
Texts like, “I can’t stop thinking about that time we…” or “Just thinking about your hands on me…” can help you see if he’s open to a more sensual conversation.
2. Build Anticipation with Teasing
His reaction to the initial test will determine what happens at this stage.
So, I want to believe he showed readiness for more dirty text.
However, you shouldn’t just throw the flirty texts in his face, slowly ease him into it.
Slowly ease into dirty talk by hinting at what you’d like to do or what you’re imagining. Keep it playful and intriguing without being too direct.
For instance, say something like: “If you were here right now… let’s just say things would be different.”
“You have no idea what you do to me… should I tell you?”
Avoid being too explicit too soon; instead, focus on creating suspense.
3. Use Descriptive Language
Now that both of you are on the same page, the next thing is to get right into the act.
Once you both feel comfortable, use descriptive language to paint a vivid mental picture of your thoughts. Being specific without revealing everything can be very effective.
For instance:
“I can still feel your hands on me working your fingers between my thighs”
“I’ve been thinking about how you’ll feel when I sit on your face.”
Choose words that express how you feel in the moment, but keep a sense of mystery to keep him hooked.
Once you get this right, it will work like magic.
4. Play with His Senses
When it comes to dirty texting, tapping into his senses can create a much deeper connection and make your words come to life.
Now, the secret is that, instead of saying what you’d do, try describing how it would feel.
This way, he gets to imagine the experience as if it’s already happening, which builds up excitement and creates a powerful connection.
Describing touches, sounds, sights, and even tastes can bring the imagery to life.
This will make him feel as if you’re right there with him, even when you’re miles apart.
Try lines like:
“Imagine my lips slowly tracing down your neck while every strand of hair on your body stands.”
“I can kiss every part of your body till your two legs are too weak to carry your weight.”
This type of language makes him feel your presence even if you’re far apart.
5. Get Him to Engage
Next, make him part of the conversation by asking him what he’d like to do or what he’s thinking about.
One of the most effective ways to do this is by asking questions that allow him to take the lead, be playful, or reveal a side of himself he might not usually show.
It creates a safe space for him to share fantasies or ideas, deepening the intimacy between you.
For instance, say things like: “What would you do if I were there with you right now?”
“Tell me your fantasy… I’ll tell you mine.”
Asking questions not only keeps the conversation going but also allows him to feel more comfortable sharing his own thoughts.
6. React to His Responses
One of the best ways to make dirty texting feel genuine and engaging is to react to his responses with enthusiasm and curiosity.
Don’t make it about yourself alone.
Engage him, and try as much as possible no to make the conversation one sided.
Pay attention to his replies and respond to them.
If he reciprocates, show excitement or curiosity about what he says.
For instance:
“Mmm, I like where this is going…”
“Tell me more…” or “I didn’t know you were so creative…”
This shows him that you’re interested and that you’re building off each other’s energy.
7. Set Boundaries and Respect His
Dirty texting should be enjoyable for both parties.
If he or you feel uncomfortable at any point, it’s okay to dial it back or steer the conversation in a lighter direction.
Respect each other’s boundaries, and if he’s not engaging as enthusiastically, take a step back.
Say something like, “We can keep this fun without going too far – I just like thinking about you.”
8. End on a High Note
Ending a dirty texting conversation on a high note can be just as important as how you start it.
When it feels like the conversation is reaching a peak, end it on a playful note to leave him wanting more.
The key here is to create a sense of unfinished business—something that implies there’s much more fun to look forward to.
Try lines like:
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see…”
“I’ll save the rest for when I see you next.”
By ending things on a high, you’re leaving him with a sense of excitement and anticipation for the next conversation.
9. Be Yourself
Another thing you shouldn’t do while dirty texting a man is not being yourself.
Contrary to what you might think, your authentic personality will make the conversation feel natural and unique.
Whether you’re playful, witty, or a bit shy, let that personality come through.
There’s no need to adopt a different tone or use phrases that don’t feel natural.
Authenticity is always attractive, and it helps to establish a deeper connection.
10. Use Humor
If you’re feeling a little nervous or unsure about dirty texting, humor can be your best friend.
Adding humor not only relaxes both of you, but it also brings out a fun, lighthearted side.
Humor also helps ease any awkwardness by giving both of you permission to be a bit silly, laugh things off, and not take yourselves too seriously.
So, don’t hesitate to be a little goofy.
For instance, Oh, you think you could handle me?
“Am I blushing just texting you? I swear, I’m cooler in person…”
Conclusion
If you’ve been wondering how to dirty text a guy, here is your sign to try it.
And the good thing about it? I have curated a step by step guide to put you through.
Above all, don’t forget mutual respect.
If the guy you are dirty texting isn’t giving the desired reaction you’d expect.
Don’t push it. Take that as a memo to stop.
While at it, create a boundary and act accordingly.
