Texting is a convenient way to communicate with your partner, but it can also be a minefield when handled nonchalantly. A poorly thought-out message can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or even a fight.
As your relationship therapist, I will be discussing 15 texts that you should avoid sending to your man at all costs.
Each point will be explained to help you maintain a healthy and positive relationship, ensuring your messages are thoughtful, kind, and appropriate.
15 Texts to Avoid Sending Your Man at All Costs
1. “We need to talk” text
Nothing strikes fear into the heart quite like a vague “We need to talk.” This message is loaded with tension and anxiety, often leading the recipient to imagine the worst.
If you need to discuss something important, it’s better to approach the conversation directly in person or with more context in the message, so your partner isn’t left worrying.
Text like “I have been bothered lately by your response to my text; can we have a conversation about this?
2. The passive-aggressive comment
Sending a text like “I guess you’re too busy to reply…” might seem like a simple nudge, but it’s more likely to come off as a passive-aggressive statement.
These kinds of messages can create unnecessary tension and may make your partner feel guilty or defensive. It’s better to express your feelings honestly without resorting to guilt-tripping text.
3. The overly long paragraph
Long-winded texts can be overwhelming and difficult to digest for anyone, especially if they contain complex or emotional content.
Instead of sending long, detailed messages, break down your thoughts into shorter, more manageable messages so that the conversation is easier to follow and less intimidating for your partner to respond to.
4. “Why haven’t you texted me?” message
While it’s natural to wonder why your man hasn’t responded, repeatedly questioning him about it can show him that you are clingy, needy, or insecure. Instead, give him the benefit of the doubt and some space to reply in his own time.
5. The constant check-in
Texting to check in constantly on your man, with texts like “Where are you?” or “What are you doing now?” can feel more like surveillance than concern.
Trust is essential to maintaining any relationship, so it’s important to avoid making your partner feel like they are under a microscope in your text.
6. Jealousy-inducing text
Messages like “Who was that girl you were talking to?” or “I saw you liked her picture” can quickly escalate into a fight, so avoid sending such text to your man at all costs.
These texts will only show that you are talking from an insecure mind, and can lead to unnecessary conflict. If you’re feeling jealous, it’s better to discuss your feelings physically and calmly rather than jumping to conclusions.
7. The drunken text
Drunk texting can lead to all sorts of problems, from saying things you don’t mean to embarrass yourself. It’s best to avoid texting altogether when you’ve had too much to drink.
If you must, keep it light and save serious conversations for when you’re sober.
8. The one-word answer
Responding with just “K” or “Whatever” is a bad way to text your man, and it can come across as dismissive or uninterested.
It might seem like a quick way to end a conversation, but it can also leave your partner feeling confused or hurt.
If you’re busy, it’s better to explain that you’ll respond in more detail later rather than using a one-word answer for a man you like.
9. “I’m Fine” When You’re Not
Texting “I’m fine” when you’re upset is a classic example of saying one thing but meaning another.
It is best to avoid this type of conversation when you are texting your man so you don’t send a message that will hinder him from caring for you.
This can create confusion and frustration, as your partner may not know how to respond or may misunderstand the situation. It’s more effective to express your true feelings, even if they’re complicated.
10. “Can we talk about this later?” (but you mean no)
If you want to avoid a topic, saying “Can we talk about this later?” can seem like a polite way to defer the conversation.
However, if you have no intention of addressing it later, this message can lead to unresolved issues and resentment.
It’s better to be upfront and deal with the situation when you’re ready, and don’t keep saying, “Can we talk about this later?”.
11. Complaints about their friends or family
Criticizing your man’s friends or family via text can put him in a difficult position and lead to defensiveness.
These conversations are best handled in person, where tone and body language can help convey your message more sensitively.
Therefore, to ensure the peace of your relationship, avoid sending texts that are all about stating the fault of your friends or family.
12. Ambiguous or vague message
Avoid sending a text that is vague or open to interpretation, as this type of message can cause confusion and anxiety.
For example, “I don’t know how I feel about us…” leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation. If you’re unsure about something, try to be as clear and specific as possible.
13. the break-up text
Ending a relationship over text is generally seen as impersonal and cold. While it may seem easier than a face-to-face conversation, it can leave any man feeling disrespected and hurt.
A breakup deserves a more personal and compassionate approach.
14. Angry text rant
Sending an angry text rant in the heat of the moment can lead to saying things you might regret later. It’s easy to misinterpret the tone of the text, which can escalate the situation further.
Take some time to cool down before responding or sending a text to your man so you can communicate more effectively and prevent further conflict.
15. The “I love you” too soon
Saying “I love you” for the first time over text can feel less meaningful than saying it in person, especially if you just started going out.
It’s a significant moment that deserves more than a quick message. If you’re ready to express your feelings, try to do it in a way that feels special and sincere.
Wrapping Up
Texting is an essential part of modern communication, but it’s important to be mindful of the messages you send to your man if you want a healthy relationship that will stand the test of time.
