You’ve been thinking about him for a while now.
And it’s frustrating.
Because you just can’t get a clear answer.
If only you could tell whether or not he is gone for good, then you could find more peace.
You could stop thinking as much and move forward with your life.
If this is what you’re going through, then here are the signs that he will never come back.
And the signs that show there’s a good chance he will:
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1. There Has Been No Consistent Meaningful Contact
The first way to judge the connection between you two is by looking at the communication.
Is there zero communication between you?
If yes, has the no contact been consistent since day 1?
Is there only necessary communication where you both have to talk to settle something you’re both sharing (rent, kids, money, business, etc?
Does he push for small talk when having these necessary discussions? Or is he 100% “professional” about it?
The desire to talk shows interest, so look out for how he approaches you after the breakup.
But you have to pay attention to why he talks if he ever does, is he just being polite and friendly? Or is he trying to spend more time talking to you?
These little differences in context make the difference, and you have to look at his behavior practically. Don’t hope or look for signs that you want to see; try to be as logical as possible so you don’t misjudge a situation and end up getting invested in something that doesn’t exist.
However, if you haven’t gotten any word for him consistently and you’ve broken up for a couple of months, then it’s most likely the case that he will never come back, and even if he does, there’s a good chance he won’t be too serious about getting another shot.
Unless you’ve done something terribly wrong or he thinks leaving was 100% his best option, a guy generally won’t be gone for too long if he has any love for you.
Why would he go radio silent if has something to lose?
2. He Found Someone Else
Finding a new partner is a major sign that he will never come back.
But even that depends on why he found someone else.
Did he find someone else who’s more compatible with him? (More compatible doesn’t always mean better).
Or is his new relationship a rebound?
Unfortunately, sometimes we make stupid decisions such as bonding with someone else to soothe our hurt egos and make ourselves feel alive and desired again, especially after a relationship with a lot of friction and not getting what we wanted.
Now, this isn’t an excuse and it doesn’t make rebounding right; it’s selfish and damaging to the new person who had nothing to do with this, but it is a sign to look out for and you get to decide the outcome should he come back.
If he does come back after already being with someone and you don’t want him back, then by all means, do what’s best for you.
3. He Behaves “Normally”
It’s not the argument and tension that you should worry about when a breakup happens…
It’s the silence and coldness that comes after.
Arguing, going back and forth, and a display of anger or disappointment are still signs that you both care.
You care; therefore, you react.
If you don’t care, then there’s no point in reacting.
If you don’t care, you just act “normal”.
You act like there’s nothing wrong because nothing, to you, is really wrong.
This means that if you see your ex consistently behaving normally as if there was no issue at all, then this is a major sign he will never come back.
He simply doesn’t care enough to even register a problem between you two.
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4. He Has a History
If you want to predict the future, look at the past.
If you’re dealing with someone who has a history of leaving and never coming back, then he’ll most likely do the same with you.
Men who leave and never come back usually have a principle — to not try again once the breakup decision has been made.
No matter how hard you try or how long you wait, they will just move on and not contact you again.
If you’re dealing with a principled man who sticks to what he says, then hoping for something unfamiliar to happen will be a waste of your time.
5. He Has No Ill Will or Love for You
The opposite of love isn’t hate.
It’s indifference.
You don’t have love for strangers and you don’t hate them either — you need a reason to invest for a while for you to love or hate.
If he tells you that he doesn’t love you in an indifferent and cold tone, then he probably doesn’t and you shouldn’t be looking into things further.
If your ex tells you that he doesn’t have any negative feelings towards you after major differences towards you, then he either likes you that much or just can’t bother that much.
Actions of love and hate show the intentions of the person you’re dealing with.
A lack of clear actions is a clear action.
No response is a response.
If nothing is happening from his side, then he doesn’t want to come back.
6. He Ignores Your Arguments
A man who avoids arguments at all costs is a sign of a man who just had enough.
That’s someone who, regardless of whether it was true or not, has been pushed away completely.
This could be the case when you’ve had too many arguments when he recognizes he’s not being understood at all.
So if he immediately avoids any conversation that might come close to resolving conflicts, then it’s most likely over when it comes to communication.
And if there’s no communication, he will never come back.
What to do next in such a situation depends on you and what happened.
If you feel that you never made space for him to be listened to, to be really understood not just so you can respond to him, then perhaps you can fix things by talking to him and letting him know that you’d like to be a better listener and communicator.
But if you feel that you’ve been wronged and that there is no way you should try to resolve issues with him, then you have to accept the fact that he will never come back and move on because of too many differences undealt with.
7. He Said He’ll Never Come Back
Sometimes we look a little deeper into past conversations than we should.
And that’s because our egos can’t handle it.
We don’t deal well with losses that we weren’t prepared to face, even if that loss is clearly communicated.
If someone tells you that he’ll never come back, then most likely, the relationship is over for good.
You might think that he didn’t mean what he said, but again, how we go about communicating our thoughts is telling.
If he says that he’ll never come back to you in a heated moment, then maybe he didn’t mean that.
But if he sat you down, talked to you calmly, and told you that the relationship is over, then you shouldn’t believe otherwise.
Never try to look past the truth when it’s right in front of you.
8. His Body Language Is Always Closed
Someone who is always facing away from you or has his arms always crossed around you is in a defensive or avoidant state mind.
People who have tight and closed body language show you how they feel about interacting with you.
And when that’s happening consistently, it probably means you’re dealing with someone who will never come back to the relationship.
This doesn’t apply when tensions are running high or there’s a heated discussion between you, that’s normal.
But always pay attention to what he does, not what he says.
If he’s always being diplomatic with his choice of words but he looks like he never wants to be there, then perhaps you don’t to be dealing with him anymore.
9. He Doesn’t Check On You
Men who are invested in their loved ones care too much not to ask.
A guy who loves will want to make sure you’re okay and doing well.
Sometimes even when relationships are over, the guy will still check on his ex every once in a while to make sure she’s safe.
And the guy, and it all depends on how things are and if they ended on a good note.
He’s not responsible for you to check on you, but if he doesn’t at all, then he probably either truly doesn’t care and will never come back.
Or maybe he’s just suppressing the need to ask because he wishes to move on.
10. He Tells You to Find Someone Else
This is one of these definite signs that are decisive.
If he tells you to find someone else, especially if there were no arguments involved, then it’s over.
Men are very territorial over their girls, and that’s a powerful indicator to judge how much men care.
If a man doesn’t even care if you go to someone else, then he will never come back.
He has no reason to say something like that unless he’s already mentally out of the relationship.
And if he actually tells you to move on and meet someone else, then he 110% isn’t invested anymore.
At that point, more thought into him changing his mind is a waste of time.
11. He Doesn’t Stalk You. At All.
As we’ve established before, an emotional reaction shows that a person is still invested.
If your ex gives you any sort of attention, then it probably means he cares.
Now, that doesn’t mean you should do something about it, but it’s something to keep in mind, for a short period of time at least.
If he checks your IG/SC stories regularly, then he still cares.
If he’s liking your posts on social media, he still cares.
If he shows up at places you normally go to regularly, he probably cares unless he has a valid reason to be there.
If he talks to your mutual friends about you, he is still invested.
If he tries to bait you with indirect posts on social media, it’s childish but he secretly wants a reaction.
If he does anything that increases the likelihood of you meeting or talking again, then he’s doing it for a reason.
Again, this doesn’t mean you have to do something about it. Your reaction really depends on why you’ve stopped talking in the first place.
But if none of this is going on, if he has been completely silent and unreactive for months on end, it could be that he will never come back.
12. He Blocked All Sorts of Contact
Blocking is usually an action people resort to when they’re in pain or angry.
Some people block you and then unblock you later because they’re curious.
Some never even think about blocking you because the entire connection didn’t matter that much to them, unfortunately.
Others don’t block you because they still want to talk to you and see what happens later.
And there are a few who just block and never come back.
If you’ve dealt with a guy who just left no room for any contact to happen and has consistently stayed in that state, then he’s most likely just done.
He’s so done that he has no reason to unblock,
If he’s that done, then you should be too.
You might not like it, but it’s probably time to accept the truth.
You don’t want to hang on to something that won’t happen.
13. Mutual Friends? Gone.
Anyone who really separates themselves from a “bad” experience will also naturally separate themselves from associates.
When you have mutual friends with your partner or ex and that doesn’t work out, sometimes it gets awkward, especially if these friends were couples.
Because there has been history and lots of memories between you, him, and the friends, adjusting to your new situation can be a bit unnatural.
The new dynamics of the friends dealing with you when you and he have separated might work and it might not.
So what a lot of people do in these cases when they want to move on is just stop hanging out with mutual friends.
Some just don’t want to get reminded of anything that has to do with the past, and what clearer sign do you need more to see that he really wants to move on?
14. There Has Been Too Much Negativity
Too many arguments. Too many back and forth. Too much negativity.
When things go sour in a relationship for too long and often, the foundation of the relationship just takes a hit.
No matter how much you’ve loved each other before, a lot of drama eventually damages the connection.
Because when you have that many differences, what ends up happening is people start to walk on eggshells, confide in others, forget about what worked, and focus on what doesn’t.
The funny thing is some girls like just a bit of drama every once in a while so the relationship doesn’t get boring — it brings a bit of passion here and there.
But most guys just would rather not deal with it at all.
If this has been the case for you, then you have to figure out why you’ve had so much tension that he left.
Are the arguments over something that he was doing/never doing that are dealbreakers for you?
Was it something that he wanted you to do/not do that is a dealbreaker for him?
Or were the reasons behind the drama just petty and insignificant?
Only you could tell, but if you were dealing with deal-breakers, then the chances are he will never come back.
15. He’s Fixated on Another Ex
Exes have a strong influence over their previous partners sometimes.
An ex can take someone out of their next relationship whenever that relationship goes south.
People get hung up on the past for the most part — they see the past better than it actually was by overvaluing their past good moments and forgetting about the bad ones.
That’s how exes get back to their old partners.
Maybe it’s because of the intimacy or something the new relationship just didn’t provide for them, there’s always a reason for someone to compare between his old relationship and that of the present.
Now, that’s not an excuse.
The past should stay in the past; it’s called the past for a reason.
There’s not much you can do about someone else’s ex, nor should you even try.
But you can definitely see the patterns when someone is fixated on their ex, and then act accordingly.
If the guy you’ve been dealing with has clearly told you that he had a lot of problems with his ex, then you have to stop and look at what he’s actually saying.
It’s one thing to be just sharing past experiences with no emotions attached.
And it’s another thing to voice frustration or sadness about the past.
One is resolved and one isn’t.
This should be a great indicator to see whether or not you should be dealing with someone on a serious level, to begin with.
Now, if it’s too late now and if the guy you’re dating or was dating just left…
If you’ve already dated after he has been talking about his ex and showing you some signs of commitment problems…
Then the reason why he will never come back is that he’s still invested in his ex.
That doesn’t necessarily mean he loves her, but he could be dealing with emotional baggage and damage earlier on, which stops him from investing in future connections.
As much as this might be hard to believe, this is nothing personal.
It’s not always in your best interest to try to help someone with such an issue — he has to do it himself.
16. Too Much Time Has Passed
Time resolves everything.
But that doesn’t mean it fixes it all.
Sometimes before a relationship is over, someone exits the relationship mentally and emotionally.
Even if they’ve never left before…
Even if they were sitting right next to you…
They could already have moved on.
If they’ve been cold and silent around you for too long, then they could have already mentally exited the relationship.
If they seem like a shadow of their former happy and active self, then it probably means they aren’t into the present connection anymore.
When someone stops investing in you for a while and turns colder as time goes by, then they’re already out — it’s just not official yet.
Because you’re either in and investing or you’re out and not caring.
There is no in-between.
So if this was your experience towards the end of the relationship, then he will never come back.
If there was not enough passion for him to move forward, why would he leave completely and then try again later?
Unless there’s a good reason why he wasn’t putting anything into the relationship when he was with you, then it’s safe to assume that you should be moving on as well.
17. He Was Always Disrespecting You
If someone was consistently disrespecting you, then they don’t value you.
If they don’t value you, then if they leave, they won’t come back.
And you shouldn’t be even wondering about it either.
A lack of respect shows immaturity to understand what a bond with someone actually means.
It shows that the disrespectful person isn’t equipped to commit to anyone for the long run.
If someone has shown that he just doesn’t respect you over and over again, then he simply won’t love you.
If he doesn’t love you, he has no reason to stick around.
He may realize later that he was immature and messed up too many times, but is that something you’re going to wait for?
It’s one thing if he comes back immediately and realized how he wronged you, but it’s another thing if has disappeared for a while now.
You deserve a lot of love and respect, so don’t put yourself in a position where you hope someone who has given you none of that to come back.
18. He Isn’t The Committed Type
There’s something always alluring about having a guy who normally doesn’t commit to women actually commit to you.
But you should know better.
If someone has a pattern of never committing to someone, then chances are he’ll not commit to you.
If he won’t commit, then he won’t invest.
If he won’t invest, then he will leave.
If he leaves without investing, he’ll easily move on.
And this means odds are he will never come back.
We only come back to someone when we really care about them and have built something with them.
No matter how much fun you’ve both had together, if you haven’t built a reliable connection full of ups and downs that come with real commitment, then he didn’t experience the amount of attachment necessary to come back.
19. You Told Him to Leave
This might seem a little obvious.
But you’d be surprised how a lot of women wonder why their exes don’t come back after telling them to leave.
Women often do that in a heat of the moment and don’t mean what they say, but they expect their partners to be fully understanding of the situation or argument.
Sadly, guys don’t work like that.
They interpret words more than feelings.
If you tell them you don’t love them because you’re upset, they will believe exactly that.
If you tell them to leave, they’ll think that’s what you really want and leave you alone.
Even if you later explain that you didn’t actually mean it, these words have already registered in their minds, so they can’t pretend as if you’ve never said anything.
If you have a tendency to let your emotions speak for you, then you’ll have to work on that to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary damage to your relationships.
20. He Changed. A lot.
The more time passes by, the more people eventually grow.
But just because you’re a couple, doesn’t mean you will grow in the same direction every time.
That’s why most high school sweethearts don’t last, and when they do it’s considered special and inspirational.
For relationships to work, you need to grow but not apart.
And you can’t control the future or what someone else wants to do.
We barely even know what we want to do after a couple of years — we’re always learning more about ourselves and the world. We’re always figuring out how to make life better for us.
Imagine having to do that with a partner.
Unfortunately for some of us, a lot of relationships are events that start and end for us to learn.
As we take time to figure out what we want, we have different desires from the person we chose to commit to.
If we are understanding enough, we can discuss these differences and make them work. Sometimes you just need to adapt and change with your partner so both of you are happy growing together.
But other times these changes are too drastic that you can’t adjust.
You can simply realize that you want something your partner doesn’t at all, and trying to get them on board with your plans may just not work.
If you insist on having them follow through, you might end up creating resentment in the relationship; resentment that comes from unintentionally being selfish and pushing your partner in a direction they don’t feel comfortable in.
Whenever you’re dealing with someone, anyone, who isn’t on board with where you’re headed, understand that this is nobody’s fault.
It’s not your fault if you grew apart, no matter how much you love each other.
If he wants to be on a different path that doesn’t fit your requirements, then it’s over and he’ll never come back.
Again, it’s no one’s fault — this would be one of the relationships that were never meant to be there forever,
21. There Is a Lack of Trust
A lack of trust is a major sign that he will not come back to a relationship with you.
This might be because you’ve done something terribly wrong or that he has done something bad that he’s afraid you might retaliate somehow.
And maybe there is no trust due to a lack of basic understanding.
He might not be able to trust what you have to say or the direction of the relationship, whatever it is, it could be the wall that’s preventing you from connecting to him.
If that’s the case, then you have to figure out how to move forward — is talking to him again and communicating these differences feasible?
Sometimes all we need is a bit of communication to create this space for trust to develop.
But if you can’t talk to him, then maybe accepting the loss and moving on regardless of what he does later is the best option for you.
22. There Was a Lack of Intimacy
You should know this, but intimacy is a huge deal for men.
No man can commit to you unless he has the consistent desire to want to be intimate with you.
Men are very physical and visual; if they’re attracted, they’ll have the basic requirements for being yours.
If that happens to fade away for whatever reason, then the chances of reconciliation are very slim.
Intimacy is like the glue that holds people together.
If there was little to no intimacy happening in your relationship when he was there, then getting back to you is most likely not going to happen.
And the chances get weaker if he, later on, meets someone else who inspires that lust that he has missed out on for a long time.
23. He Doesn’t Want to Even Try
Effort equals care.
If it isn’t in him to want to fix things, then you waiting or even hoping for a second round is just holding you back.
You can’t expect people to care the same way you do, no matter how much you wanted this to work.
For it to work, you both need to work.
If someone doesn’t want it bad enough to help that relationship grow, it’s not their fault.
But the other should react accordingly.
If someone says he wants to be with you and his actions keep showing otherwise, then he’s fooling himself.
React accordingly.
You deserve a man whose actions and words are congruent.
Don’t settle for something that sounds or looks good.
It should be good.
24. He Was Always Prioritizing Other People
How much was he prioritizing you towards the end?
Was he always absent?
Nothing wrong with being out with friends, but was he always out with them?
How much time did he make for you and him?
Did he have too many excuses to prioritize someone or something over you?
It makes sense if it happens every once in a while — has a life and so should you, but how frequent were these excuses?
These are questions best answered by you to figure out where he stands with you.
Unless he took you for granted and realized he messed up, if he never cared that much when you were there, he’ll not care when you’re gone.
People prioritize what they care about most first, so if you were nowhere near his top priorities, then it’s time for you to move on and never look back.
25. He Avoids Talking About the Breakup
Anyone who wants to avoid discussing conflicts at all costs doesn’t want to deal with them.
Maybe he has a valid reason not to talk and maybe he doesn’t. You can’t control what someone wants to do.
But you should understand that not dealing with unresolved arguments is a way of quitting and giving up.
It might be because they have had enough of the differences and it might be because they’re too guilty, whatever it is, it’s still a choice.
And choosing to give up means you shouldn’t stick around and hope it changes.
It’s unfair to you, so consider him quitting a sign that he will never come back and move on with your life.
26. He Returns Your Stuff & Deletes All Traces of You
When a guy takes the time to return your things from his place, then he’s doing it intentionally to move on.
He wants to avoid things that remind him of you — all the special things you’ve bought for him that were meant to stay, aren’t going to stay.
This is a difficult and conscious decision a man will make to disconnect from the past as much as possible.
Leaving no traces of you on his social media accounts also means he wants a clear distinction between the past and the future.
He doesn’t want to include you in his future.
As much as this may sound hurtful, it’s also a reality we must accept.
The more truth we take in regardless of the pain that might come out of it, the easier moving on becomes.
27. He Wants to be “Just Friends”
No man in his right mind would ever want to be just friends with a woman he loves.
This kind of talk is only shared when a guy doesn’t have the kind of love for you that you would hope for.
He may have loved before, but this talk shows he is different now.
Again, don’t leave yourself hanging when someone clearly tells you that they’re not interested in you romantically.
A man you truly desires you would make sure there are no doubts about how he wants you for himself.
28. “It’s Not You, It’s Me”
This is another one of the cliche talks people have whenever they no longer want to continue a relationship.
“It’s not you, it’s me” is the oldest trick to exit a relationship without making the other feel bad.
Whenever the last conversation goes in that direction, just understand it’s over and tell him that you don’t have to stretch things out with these kinds of conversation.
Be mature enough to just let him go in class and thank him for the great moments you’ve had together.
Wish him the best of luck and don’t look back.
This talk only comes out of someone who has mentally exited the relationship a long time ago. You’re just having the talk a little later.
Don’t blame him for anything and don’t argue about it — there’s no point.
Make the end swift and classy.
29. He’s Dating Others
Obviously, this requires no further explanation.
But you’d again be surprised at the type of questions I get sometimes, and so I have to address this.
A man leaving you and then dating someone else has no serious intentions of recovering a connection with you.
Sometimes people overcomplicate the simplest things to hope for a better outcome.
People in this situation might hope their next relationship is a rebound or hope their next partner isn’t as good as you so they can come back.
But you should never think this way.
If a man makes the decision to replace you with someone else, then he doesn’t value what he already had.
Even if it was a rebound or it was someone who isn’t as good as you — it still shows a lack of desire for you.
Because even if he comes back after replacing you, the fact that he realizes that he can come back whenever alone will push him to leave you again.
I hope you know your worth and never let such questions pass through in your mind for a minute.
If he’s gone with someone else, it’s done.
Don’t recover a dead relationship because you can’t, it’s dead.
You have much better luck starting something new
Signs He Will Come Back
1. There’s Consistent Effort Towards Fixing Things
Any type of consistent effort to get you to talk to him is a sign that he wants something more than what he has now.
Even when guys are stubborn and don’t want to come across as clearly trying, they find out ways to make communication happen.
Effort is the clear indication you need to look out for when you’re figuring out where things are headed next.
If he makes time for you — to listen, talk, and connect to you, then it’s a sign that he will come back.
The more direct the effort and approach towards you are the better chances at reconciliation.
But you need to understand what effort really is.
Don’t make the common mistake of interpreting the minimum effort as care.
Him just texting “hi” isn’t an effort; what comes after should be considered.
Him liking your posts and leaving a comment here and there isn’t him acting upon a desire to come back to you.
An effort is not just initiating, so whenever he starts a conversation, don’t think of it as a huge deal.
Be cool and make sure he is approaching you with consistency and dedication.
2. He Checks On You Regularly
A guy who typically loves you will keep tabs on you.
He cares a lot about you and what you do, so he’ll find it hard to not know how your life is going.
This of course won’t go on forever, but as long as he keeps checking on you, then he cares and hasn’t really moved on.
Not yet at least.
Depending on how things ended or why you’re not seeing each other anymore, you might put some effort into talking to him a little more the more he talks to you.
If it makes sense to you and if the relationship was good for you, you can give back and see where it goes.
3. He Talks About Your Happy Moments Together
People recall all their best memories when they have had great experiences that they consider valuable.
And if you’ve provided happy moments throughout the time you’ve been together, then he might not want to move on from that.
He might even want more out of you.
So if he keeps talking about the good times you’ve spent together, then he sees contentment with you, and this might mean he could reconsider staying away for good.
4. He’s Willing to Commit
Let’s face it: too many guys have commitment issues that result in relationships ending before they even start.
But every once in a while, there will be that one guy who values his connection with a woman too much that it becomes harder for him to lose her.
There are guys out there who will completely get over their commitment problems when they desire that one special girl who is right for them.
This may or may not happen to you, but it’s something to think about.
If the reason you stopped talking was that he didn’t want to commit, and then he later comes back telling you that he’s ready to commit, this means there is a small chance this could actually be the case.
As much as girls would love to hear that the man they love wants to come back for them, it’s usually not the real reason why he comes back.
The real reason could be that he simply missed you or felt too lonely that it made sense to him to ignore his commitment issue and be with you again.
This reaction is usually emotional and comes from desperation, which shouldn’t be taken seriously.
You can consider getting back with someone if he consistently shows you that he wants to commit despite leaving before, and it should be a second and final trial for him to get it right.
Otherwise, there’s no point in investing time and love into someone who doesn’t want it all the time.
5. Nothing Bad Ever Happened
This is not often the case, but sometimes relationships end for reasons outside both of your control.
One person may struggle with hardship, leave the city for a reason, etc…
In such situations, it’s possible that one of you gets removed from the connection temporarily, but never really want that.
When something outside of your control dictates where one of you should be mentally or physically, then getting back together becomes an option later on.
If you’ve been doing well together and get separated by major life events, then you’re simply always going to remember how great the connection was, and that maybe if you were given another opportunity, you might try again.
Only You Know What’s Best for You
Having read all of these signs, you should be able to know where he stands with you.
You should be able to figure out the next move that works for you.
Not him, you.
If you still don’t know, don’t rush it if he comes back to you. Don’t make any decisions immediately. Ask him questions if you want to understand where he is emotionally and mentally at.
As hard as this can be, you have to look at his patterns of behavior logically.
If he acted in a certain way in the past, he’s most likely going to do it again later on.
It’s not apologetic about clear past mistakes at all, he probably doesn’t care enough to correct his mistakes.
The idea isn’t to wait until he comes back or wonder if he will never come back — the goal is to understand what you deserve and if the relationship was actually making you happy and safe.
| Looking for actionable tips for building attraction long-term from the man you desire?
Check out the sneaky little tricks in the “His Secret Obsession” guide. |
