How to Answer “What Are You Looking For in a Relationship?”

You’ve been dating for a while now, and someone finally asked you, “What are you looking for in a relationship?” 

This can be a tough question to answer, especially when you don’t know where to start. 

So, whether you’re looking for something serious or just looking for a good time, here are ways to approach the question:

When it comes to dating and relationships, there are a variety of things to look for.

Mutual support feeds a relationship and builds trust. It is the water that helps a relationship grow and remain strong. Listen to your nervous system.

You shouldn’t have to strategize someone into loving you. A relationship is a biosphere. What you put into it comes back at you.

A partner who is self-aware and reflective

Mutual respect is paramount. It helps if you find a partner who is self-aware and reflective. You don’t have to always be on the same page, but you want your relationship to flow with curiosity and goodwill.

A partner who can articulate their feelings and ask for what they want

Communication is key. A partner who can articulate their feelings and ask for what they want provides you with a map. No one is a mind reader. Understanding your needs and asking for what you want starts a negotiation process of mutual satisfaction.

It’s important to be able to take responsibility for oneself and one’s actions and be able to repair when the inevitable disagreement occurs. Learning from past mistakes is helpful so that they don’t happen repeatedly.

You want to look for someone who can form loving connections

This can feel daunting, but in the end, it’s very easy.

You want to look for someone who can form loving connections, to themselves, to you, and the world around them.

You might start to list qualities you’d like in a person or talk through the answer with a trusted friend.

So much time can be spent on making up in our minds this narrative of the ‘perfect’ relationship down to the last detail that we forget that most of what we’re making up is not in our control.

Then, this can make it even harder; when we have those expectations, almost every first date feels like a dud, and it’s back to the dating app to try again.

What if there’s a better way to approach figuring out what you’re looking for in a relationship?

What if you could approach looking for a relationship from a much more confident, self-assured place and a better-defined view of what a potentially good fit might be for you?

The good news is, you can. How you approach dating is completely in your control. Start by thinking through these three steps.

Focus on yourself first; be clear about who you are and go from there

Yes, start by thinking about yourself! Often we spend time thinking about who the person is that we might want to date. That could be useful when looking through potential mates on a dating app, but in the beginning, we need to think about you.

Answer the ‘why’ to a potential relationship

Be realistic; think of the issues that will inevitably arise

Repeat this — no one’s perfect, and no relationship is perfect. The idea of finding a perfect relationship is a cognitive distortion. It’s easy to imagine all the good things that come from being in a relationship but also think of the issues that will inevitably arise.

It’s easy to imagine yourself living happily with the person of your dreams, but what happens when reality sets in and you have to figure out how to manage household chores, car repairs, and health insurance premiums?

Once you’re clear on who you are, why you want a relationship, and take a realistic view of what you expect from a relationship, you’re in a much more centered place to figure out what exacting you’re looking for.

And remember, we change as we grow, so what you want now when you’re looking for a relationship might be different than what you were looking for in the past.

That’s ok. All the more reason to get to know yourself again to figure out what you want and need now.

After all, how can we ever expect someone else to get to know us and love us in a relationship if we don’t know ourselves on a deeper level?

There you are, on your first or second date, and then comes “The question.”

“So,” your date says, faking casual, “What are you looking for in a relationship?”

Let’s pause the date so I can teach you what to say. And some of it is going to surprise you.

“Kill the soulmate”

One of the biggest problems with dating in 2022 is the illusion of abundance. “I really like them, but the perfect person may be a swipe away, so maybe I’ll keep looking.”

You ache to know if this is the person you’re meant to be with, but you can’t possibly know if this person is your “soulmate.”

Because there is no soulmate.

If there were, I’d be married to Shaun Cassidy. In my teens, I was absolutely sure he was the one for me, and I’m not being facetious here.

I want to help you examine the belief that there is one particular, destined person we are each meant to be with and the unexamined assumption underneath that belief.

Longing for the perfect soulmate can doom your search for a wonderful partner and a great relationship because no flesh and blood human can live up to the picture you have in your head of “The one.”

So kill the soulmate! Don’t put unrealistic pressure on your real-life possible future relationship partner.

When you hit the inevitable rough patches in your future romance, if you are not careful, you will interpret difficulties and disagreements as proof that you are not “meant” to be together. Instead, you’ll see them for what they are — the growing pains of a real-life love affair.

Long-term love can be hard. So, look for someone who can hold your hand in sickness and in health.

Do your “love homework”

I suggest you make what I call a Lover List. It’s important to clarify what you want in your future relationship. After all, you are choosing a person to spend your life with, so shop mindfully.

Most people spend more time deciding what features they want in a new washing machine than the features they want in a mate.

List everything you can think of

Grab a pen and paper. Writing this down is more powerful than simply thinking about it. List everything you want in your lover and love relationship, from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Get clarity

Next, whittle it down to your top ten list. Be very thoughtful here — what are the ten most important things you want and need in a mate and in a relationship?

Get clarity. You probably don’t really need that ski chalet, but if having children is a fundamental life goal for you, it has to be in the top ten.

Here’s the catch: No real-life human will offer ten out of ten of the things you want. That’s the mythical soulmate — the one who lives in the enchanted forest next to the unicorn.

Look carefully for the qualities your date has instead of the ones they lack

Most happy couples I speak to in my private practice or coach in my online immersion program say their beloved mate has about seven of the ten qualities they want in a partner.

How about you? How many of your Lover List qualities does your current date demonstrate, at least part of the time? If you want to be happy in love — and I know you do — look carefully for the qualities your date has instead of the ones they lack.

Focus on what you want in the relationship, not what you want in the person

In other words, no matter what qualities your date has, what matters is how they merge with you and what the two of you become in a relationship.

Well, you might get all that, and sit mournfully at home while your mate jets around the world between business meetings and ski trips, with their light carry-on baggage, leaving you with your “perfect kids” and treating you like gold from afar, and here you thought they checked all your boxes.

Focus on “give” not “get”

For major bonus points, after you answer what you are looking for in a relationship, turn the question on its head and tell your date what you plan to bring to the relationship, not just what you are looking for — what a crazy idea.

In summary, the bad news is that it can seem like modern dating is super stressful, and the odds against finding someone special is terrible.

And while a few lucky couples seem to come by these relationship skills naturally, the rest of us can learn.

Here’s how you can evaluate your current date and decide whether to say “Yes” to the next date with them.

I am a romantic, as well as a scientist, and I absolutely believe great love affairs exist, but they are created, not destined, and they are flawed, not perfect. In my view, that makes love all the more precious.

Destiny didn’t hand you an admirable relationship; you chose well and created it. So stop looking for “the one.” Instead, look upon the beautiful, imperfect person standing right in front of you with curiosity.

As long as you’ve got some of the building blocks and the willingness to learn and grow, you can create a realistic (mostly) happy ever after — and be one hundred percent happy with seven out of ten.

Answering this question, it is also important to remember that there is no space for 50% / 50% in relationships. You should both be involved 100%.

List the qualities you admire in your soulmate

One exercise that helps people understand their partners and their desires and maintain healthy relationships is to list the qualities you admire in your soulmate.

Your brain can’t stay on two sides simultaneously; you can’t stay angry and be grateful and feel love.

Speak about your sexual desires openly

Moreover, the sphere which should be mentioned is our intimate life. Sex is the most logical and natural thing in the world. Since our minds and bodies are connected, relationships with pleasure improve our quality of life and health.

One popular example is that sexual activity with orgasms makes our sleep better.

The interesting point here is that one of the common myths among couples is that sometimes people think they shouldn’t tell their partners what they like or don’t; they don’t want to be very vocal.

Instead of highlighting their preferences (“I love when you do it this way, but could you try it this way next time?”), sometimes people stay mute and do what they used to do in the bedroom.

This way, their sexual life never gets better because partners should speak about what they want and ask each other about their desires.

The conversations are of great value. It improves our relationships, and you can learn much from your partner just by chatting with them. My advice is to always speak about the desires openly.

Related: 10 Great Sex Tips for a Happy Relationship (Turn Bedroom Blues into Blue Skies)

Reflect on what you want your relationship to look like a year from now

This question is meant to go deeper than just surface-level qualities when looking for a compatible partner.

Early on in relationships, people tend to overlook qualities or reframe them to fit their narrative because the excitement of the relationship is rewarding.

When reflecting on what you are looking for, it is helpful to reflect on what you want your relationship to look like a year from now.

A genuinely curious partner

Curiosity is a value many people have as it keeps them engaged in life, seeking new ways to learn and grow. When a partner can add more curiosity to a relationship, it keeps things progressing.

A genuinely curious partner will ask thoughtful questions that result in you feeling noticed and cared for. As a relationship progresses, there is naturally less learning about each other that occurs, but that doesn’t mean curiosity should stop.

A family-oriented partner

Everyone has family dynamics, and it is important to reflect on how you want your partner to be involved in your family and how you want to be involved in their family.

Related: What Does It Mean to Be Family Oriented?

All relationships are going to be heavily influenced by extended family, so reflecting on what is important to you regarding these family influences is necessary.

Extended families will be influential in many ways, whether they are involved or not.

When an extended family is not involved, it can be challenging when support is needed, but someone is not close to their family. When an extended family is involved, reflecting on what you hope support will look like is important.

Overall, considering the role of your partner’s family is a necessity because it can either be very rewarding or very stressful.

A partner who is flexible and willing to consider other options

It is important to reflect on how you want a partner to handle change and deal with challenges. When a partner is flexible and willing to consider other options, you will feel reassured that your voice is being accommodated.

Flexibility is also the skill of letting go of control. Your partner may have an assumption of how the weekend will go, but that doesn’t match your assumption for the weekend. Flexibility occurs when those assumptions are shared, and there is a willingness to change course by one or both partners.

Related: How to Stop Being Controlling in Your Relationship

Be transparent about your expectations

One of the things I admired about my late husband when we first began dating was he was totally in the open about his intentions. His wife had died the previous year. He liked being married and was looking for a wife.

I, too, was honest about wanting to take it slow and easy. I’d had my heart broken the previous year and was very cautious about getting too serious, too fast.

Fortunately, he respected my boundaries, allowing me time to get to know him and ultimately fall for him.

Being transparent takes courage. For some people, it’s terrifying to open their heart and tell the truth.

One of the essential components of healthy communication is being able to share and hear feelings. Disclosing your feelings requires far more vulnerability than carrying on a conversation about work, school, or the ballgame.

Those surface conversations are just a place to start — to learn enough about the date to decide whether or not you’re interested in the next date! But on the next date, share your feelings.

If your date isn’t comfortable with that level of communication, it’s a red flag. If they are uncomfortable with feelings and exposure to desires now, the same would be true after marriage.

Discomfort or inability to communicate the feelings and ‘needs levels’ eventually causes a relationship to feel shallow and unfulfilling. Better to know that now than ten years into a marriage.

Start a relationship the way you want it to grow. If an emotionally intimate and conscious relationship is what you want in life, then make that your goal and purpose in dating, too!

“Someone to travel with”

While this only works if you actually like to travel, if you do like to travel or want to travel, then you already know that traveling has the potential to create some really amazing and really stressful experiences.

Couples who can successfully navigate traveling together often have strong relationship skills, especially when it comes to communication, flexibility, and choosing your perspective, which are essential elements of a successful relationship.

Positive relationship skills needed to travel together

By saying you want someone to travel with, you can communicate that you want a relationship with someone safe, fun, flexible, respectful, and can keep the big picture in mind even when things aren’t going smoothly in the present.

Be direct and honest; people are not mind-readers

Effectively communicating your wants and needs is one of the most important things (if not the most important thing) for a person to be able to do in a relationship. People are not mind-readers and do not know what you want or need unless you tell them.

It would help if you looked at this question as a tool that will help you to work toward finding the right match.

If you are honest in your answer and find out that the other person is also looking for the same things, that’s great, and it allows both people to move forward in the relationship knowing they are on the same page.

If you are honest in your answer and the other person does not want the same things or has a strange reaction to your response, this also tells you something important.

If it is not going to be a good match, it’s better that you know this as quickly as possible so that you can spend your time finding a partner whose relationship goals align with you instead of spending time in a relationship that will never work.

Getting an understanding of what you truly want in a relationship is important. When you communicate this to a potential partner, it shows that you are someone who knows what they want, which is an attractive quality.

If they don’t respond positively, that is not a reflection of you or them — it just means it might not be the right fit. Being honest in answering this question on a date ends up helping everyone in the long run.

There’s an art to answering this question.

Yes, you want to be honest and clear so you both know where you stand. You also want your answer to be attractive and enticing, so the other person will want to keep seeing you.

Here’s a tip: Think like Don Draper on “Mad Men.” In one episode, Don said, “Advertising is based on one thing: happiness.” The courtship phase of dating involves advertising your best self to potential partners.

Lead with what you offer, not what you want

The “What are you looking for?” question is a chance to convey how amazing it would be to date you. So lead with what you offer, not what you want. Learn from Don and answer this question in a way that makes your crush happy.

How not to answer the question? By making it all about your needs. Don’t say, “I want someone who will always be honest, give me endless support, and be faithful.” Now, those are great things! But a list of your relationship demands will not entice anyone to date you.

Hey, who doesn’t like red wine and great conversation, right?

So, be like Don Draper, minus the infidelity and binge drinking! Give an enticing, honest answer that offers happiness.

Talk about wanting something casual in an elegant, honest way

There’s nothing wrong with casual dating, as long as you’re transparent in your intentions. Honesty is king in dating — long live the king!

But you can talk about wanting a casual relationship in an elegant, honest way.

Yuck! That makes it only about sex and the physical. Gross. Even a casual fling can be about a real connection.

This implies a casual relationship but still mentions something we all want, from long-term relationships to casual hookups: real connection.

How to make a second date happen if you see a potential relationship:

Make your interests known sooner, not later

First things first: Don’t “play it cool” and make them wonder if you’re interested. People have so many dating options now, and if you “play it cool” you’ll play the fool — and they’ll likely move on to someone else.

Instead, make your interests known sooner, not later. Don’t wait longer than a day. There’s something attractive and sexy about a person putting their romantic cards on the table. It shows vulnerability and courage.

Going after what you want is just plain sexy.

A great way to get a second date is to talk about it on the “first” date

A great way to get a second date is to talk about it on the FIRST date.

This way, you’re both asserting the second date that you want, which is attractive, and you’re assuming they want one, too. And much like Obi-Wan Kenobi using a Jedi mind trick, when you assume the other person is into you, that very confidence and certainty help to make it true.

Send them a text the day after your first date

Another strategy: Send them a text the day after your first date and let them know you’re up for another date.

Despite its harmless nature, this question has become overused in the dating scene for many years and is still challenging to answer. It’s funny how it can catch someone off guard despite the fact it’s such a common question.

The following are possible responses to this question that can help you determine whether you and your date are compatible.

A relationship with someone who has a sense of humor

As we all know, life can be hard, so we must stay away from toxic relationships and negativity as much as possible. Find someone who can make you laugh after a stressful day at work, somebody who genuinely laughs at your jokes. Essentially, find someone you can laugh with.

Related: Why Do People Stay In Toxic Relationships?

However, this doesn’t mean you should choose a partner who isn’t serious in life. You want to be in a relationship to lead a happier life, not to have your life worsened. So, choose a partner with a good sense of humor.

A relationship with a partner who is also your best friend

The key to a successful relationship is friendship; you should look for someone who will be not only your lover but also your best friend.

It’s important to find a person who will always be there for you, a person who will be your biggest fan and your best confidant. You should focus on building a deep and strong emotional connection, something only best friends can achieve.

A relationship with someone in which you are treated with respect

In a romantic relationship, this is something we should all strive for. If you allow others to disrespect you, you are also disrespecting yourself. A relationship without mutual respect won’t succeed.

Your partner needs to understand that you have different needs, interests, and perspectives on certain aspects of life.

A relationship with a person who is a good listener

The person you choose should believe that everything you say has meaning. For example, if someone has a problem and their partner provides sound advice, your partner is a good listener. They use more than just their ears to hear your words.

Observe how your partner responds to everything you say. If their responses do not seem relevant to you, they might not be the right ones for you.

A partner who truly listens provides tailored-fit responses. This means that they make sure that their advice is realistic and achievable.

Related: 50+ Reasons Why Listening Is Important

A relationship with someone who knows how to compromise

The ability to compromise has to do with our ability to handle arguments because even when we meet someone who matches our personality, that does not necessarily mean the person always shares our viewpoint.

A conflict might arise when one person approaches problems differently than another, in which case both parties should learn to compromise. If this is difficult, focus on your goal, and if both of you share the same goal, then committing to compromise and cooperating will help you achieve your goals.

Related: How Often Do Couples Argue or Fight in a Healthy Relationship

A relationship with someone who isn’t pretentious

It’s alright for your partner to see how you are when you’re not feeling good since you’re only human, and it’s okay for you to get upset or feel something negative.

Don’t always pretend to make a good impression because you’ll eventually get tired of pretending. It won’t just exhaust you; you’ll show your worst self instead of putting your best foot forward.

How you answer this question depends on who is asking and when. If it’s a new date and you don’t know them well, they’re probably trying to figure out if you both have the same goals.

If one of you definitely wants to get married and one doesn’t, it’s good to find out sooner rather than later.

“It’s good to be honest, but not ‘too’ honest”

Why? You want to let your intentions be known. This way, there is no confusion. Months or years down the line, you won’t have one person trying to convince the other to get married when they never wanted to begin with.

The reason why they lie

Someone might mirror you and say what you want to hear because they want a short-term relationship with you. They may be bored or horny.

If you are really attractive to them or they’ve been single for a while, this can be a big problem. They may say whatever you want to hear. But they can’t keep it up long-term.

Once you find out what they’re truly about, it’s too late. You’ve wasted months or years of your life on the wrong person. Plus, you believed them, so you’re still in love with who you thought they were. This hurts.

They may not even be a bad person. They just really liked you. They wanted to win you over and were willing to do and say whatever it took.

How to prevent this from happening

Keep it general; you don’t have to say every detail

Keep it general. Say that you’re looking for a long-term exclusive relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. If having kids is important to you, say that, too.

But you don’t have to say every detail you’re looking for in your dream partner. You don’t have to say every detail of the house you want to live in and list every little preference. Otherwise, it’s too easy to agree with.

Speed up your dating success by hiring a relationship coach

If you’re serious about speeding up your dating or relationship progression, consider hiring a relationship coach, especially if you’ve had bad luck in relationships in the past.

A great coach can help pinpoint your specific issues. You’ll be able to fix them with expert help instead of just guessing and applying generic advice.

Finding the right relationship coach who understands you is key.

Be as honest and transparent as possible

When responding to this question, it is important to be as honest and transparent as possible.

You want to be as clear and concise as you can so that it takes guessing out of the game. What you don’t want is to find yourself with someone that isn’t willing to meet you where you’re at because you didn’t say anything to begin with.

Important things to remember are that you are looking for a partnership, which may mean a give and take, but this does not mean that you give up your values.

Reflect on your core values and non-negotiables

With that said, before dating, you must take a moment to reflect on your core values and non-negotiables so you can feel aligned in your decision if the other person says they can not meet those needs.

Lastly, once you nail down the core values that you’re looking for in someone else, I want you to take a moment to reflect on whether you are also embodying these within yourself.

When looking for a partnership, it is crucial that we live and breathe the very values that we would also like to see in someone else.

Let’s be real here: People usually don’t take kindly to those who are ambiguous about what they seek in terms of relationships. We’ve all been there at least once, spending endless amounts of time trying to please the other party in the hopes that their “maybe” could turn into a “yes.”

However, being absolute about your relationship preferences can also work counterproductively.

A finite answer to “What are you looking for in a relationship” could give anyone the impression that you do not have space in your life for another person’s opinion.

So, what do you do if you can’t be vague without leading people on, and you can’t be honest without coming across as egotistical?

If you try to be flirty: Throw the question back

If you’re trying to be flirty, you can always throw the question back to the person who asked it. This will allow you to get some insight into the other person’s goals regarding you and your potential future together. This will also grant you some time to think and respond accordingly.

If you’re going in blind: Keep your answer short and allow the conversation to spark

If you’re going in blind, though, keep your answer short and allow for conversation to be sparked based on your reply.

If you’re looking to get married: Make the journey your focal point

In this case, you avoid coming on too strong from the get-to but also allow the conversation to take a more serious turn.

The other person will aim to respond with the same amount of maturity and honesty whether your relationship goals coincide or not.

Don’t dismiss the question

If you feel like you are not sure what you are looking for just yet, don’t try to avoid answering the question. This often gives the impression that commitment issues are at play, and while not everyone will find that off-putting, it shows that your life is not as put together as you’d like.

You also share your views without seeming like you don’t know what you want. The other person’s reply might be something more definitive, and based on it, you can see whether you’d like to align your relationship goals with theirs.

Avoid generalizations

We all want an honest, loyal, and loving relationship with a partner that shares the same values but that doesn’t really tell them anything other than “Don’t lie to me” or “Don’t cheat on me.”

People don’t often take well to another person’s insecurities, especially if they come out straight away.

Remember, the question is “What are you looking for in a relationship,” not “What are you looking for in a partner?”

We all have a general understanding of what “friendship” and “romance” is. If you reply this way, you are conveying that you want the honesty and loyalty that comes with sharing a friendship with someone and the freedom and autonomy between each person.

Romance conveys the emotional side and clarifies that what you want is not platonic.

You need to just look into yourself

No two people are alike in all ways; that’s why when answering this question, you need to just look into yourself. But how do you identify the things you want in a relationship?

If you are self-aware and have the answers ready, good for you!

And the best thing is you can continually update your list even if you are in a relationship already. Because like it or not, we change, and it’s a good way to understand if your relationship’s going in a direction you like.

It’s integral that you are honest about what you want

Though I have been with my husband for almost 19 years, that doesn’t mean I don’t remember what I was looking for in a partner before we started our relationship.

Knowing these features are what you are most likely looking for, how do you answer, “What are you looking for in a relationship?”

When on a dating website

When you use a dating website to meet people, the website will want to serve profiles of people who closely meet what you are looking for in a partner.

For this reason, it’s integral that you are honest about what you want. There will undoubtedly be things that are more important than others, but you will want to make a list of what is most important to you.

Knowing this in advance will help you find someone more closely aligned with your expectations.

When your friends ask

Your friends care about you and want to see you happy. This is most likely why they ask you what you are looking for in a relationship. You would answer what you are looking for similarly to how you would reply on a dating website.

Many relationships started because the couple was set up by mutual friends. It’s a good idea to meet people through friends, as the people you are introduced to are more likely to be honest, plus your friend probably already knows a lot about them.

When at work

It can be okay to mix business and pleasure. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, these are probably best left outside the office. That’s not to say you can’t meet your soulmate at work.

In fact, some of my best friends were coworkers before they were married. It’s only to say that you should use caution when you mix your search for a romantic relationship with your business life.

Make sure that your actions in the office are appropriate. PDA’s can be fun, but they can also make others uncomfortable.

Whatever you are looking for in a partner, if you are honest, you’re more likely to find exactly what you are looking for.

Don’t be afraid to tell them out loud if you’re looking for specific things

Before answering this question, you need to think really hard about what you’re actually looking for in a relationship and then put it into words in a sensible way that conveys your message honestly.

If you’re looking for specific things, don’t be afraid to tell them out loud.

For instance, you’re someone who likes to have their own space.

You should be honest and upfront about what you’re looking for, but that doesn’t mean you have to be blunt or rude.

You can have a mature conversation with someone by conveying the intended message. These serious talks will help you focus on what’s really important — finding that one person, rather than attracting plenty of potential dates — by filtering out the dating-related noise.

Someone you can freely share your thoughts and desires without fear of being judged

Having an opportunity to freely share thoughts, feelings, and desires without reconsideration or fear of being judged is an utmost desire in a relationship.

It feels so lonely and draining having to deal with peculiar struggles alone.

A relationship should have the capacity to accommodate my fears, ideas, and peculiarities. Communicating my happiness and desires should be a shared interest, and openness about feelings should not just be from my side but must be bidirectional.

Having a sense of autonomy

The privilege of staying true to oneself: Finding self-worth and having a sense of autonomy is what anyone searches for in any relationship.

A relationship should approve of my desire to pursue set goals without interference. It should help me discover “the me” other aspects of life try to hide.

The value of independence gives people a sense of responsibility. And the relationship that grants freedom for growth as an individual will help in recognition and living out of dreams while it provides the needed support for success.

Being manipulated or coerced to live up to another’s expectations is a peril of codependency. An interdependent relationship that allows for freedom even in mutual dependence is what I intend to get in relationships.

Related: How to Break Codependency Habits

You want someone who will make you better rather than worse

This is an important question because it helps you define what you want out of a relationship.

Whatever it is that really matters to you, write it down and review the list when thinking about potential partners.

Be straightforward but not rude

The question “What are you looking for in a relationship?” may seem like an easy one to answer. However, this overused question can still catch someone off guard even though it seems like such a harmless question.

If you are one of those people who find it challenging to answer, you can try to answer the question honestly and by being straightforward but not rude.

Being frank and blunt might sound like the same thing if you have a quick read, but there is a difference.

Honesty is more about describing what you are expecting from your partner, while bluntness is being direct and telling the person asking the question how you will be or how you will handle the relationship.

You can answer the question in two ways

First, suppose you are not looking for a long-term relationship and just want to have fun and see how it goes.

This clearly indicates that you are not looking into settling down anytime soon, but you are open to the idea of having one.

Have trust and communication as the cornerstone for the relationship to grow

In each phase of our lives, we are growing. And with that growth comes change. What you need today in a relationship might not be the same as what you need tomorrow.

Whatever it is you are looking for, it is important to be honest with yourself and your partner. Without trust and communication as the cornerstone, your relationship will not be able to grow. So ask yourself, what are you looking for in a relationship? And be honest with your answer.

If you are not sure what you are looking for in a relationship, that’s okay! Take some time to figure it out. After all, you don’t need to rush into anything that can potentially change your life.

Maybe, for now, just enjoy the process of getting to know someone and see where it takes you.